So this is about how I feel today.  I’ve decided to come on here while my food cooks so I don’t do something completely off the wall.  (I want to eat the WHOLE bag of cashews right now!!!!)

Day 4, okay, started out so so.  Then after sitting listening to people eat stuff and offer me jelly bellies and watch people eat cake and pizza, I got in a really fowl mood.  (this will be the venting portion of today’s blog)  Now, I specifically let everyone at work know what I was doing and I really thought that was understood.  But like most human beings, they only pay attention and comprehend as it pertains to them.  I act like I’m completely shocked by this “new” revelation.  So I make it through work (barely) and stop at the grocery store.  I have to get eggs and an anniversary card for my husband (anniversary is tomorrow).  This was kind of easy.  So as I’m going through the store trying to find a safe isle to go down to get to the registers..I stop at the spices.  Yes, because I somehow thought the cake and pudding isle would be the best choice.  I had picked up some grass fed beef and heck okay….READ LABELS!  My goodness everything has sugar in it!  Sneaky bastards!

I finally make it out of the grocery store and decide, hey, I might as well pick up my prescription at Walgreens since they notified me like 4 days ago. (coincidence?) Well I get there and they inform me that it’s at the Walgreens across town.  Um…okay…thanks for letting me know.  I drive across town and go through the drive in window. (it’s faster you know) And I get this voice saying “we’ll be with you when we can, I have people in here” Oh..okay.  So I sit there for like 10 minutes.  Then decide wow there must be a mob!  So I go inside to check it out.  empty.  No one is there.  Okay.  So again this voice tells me “I’ll try to be with you when I can, we are really busy” ummm.  okay fine.  So 15 minutes later I get my prescription and leave. 

Now the whole time I’m just pissed because I’m wanting to get home and just eat!  I can’t just grab something quick (and yeah they have honey mustard wheat thins now…I’m pretty sure they would taste like crap though!)

So as I’m running around with all this stuff, I’m still thinking about how I’m going to get through the next month at work.  I thought about the response I got from Kevin (not sure if I love him or hate him yet….more on that next week) and decided yeah…These people can sit there and stuff their faces with all this crap food.  They are making themselves more and more unhealthy, they are going down the road I am getting off.  (so I’m better than they are na na na na naaaa na)  I shouldn’t feel like I”m being deprived and left out.  I should feel sorry for them that they don’t have the strength to take better care of themselves.  (wow haven’t I just turned into a self righteous food snob!)  So that’s what I’m going to think about the whole thing every time I’m faced with the offer of something nasty!

Okay now back to more important things…How do I feel.  Well words of wisdom…(ha, this should be enlightening!)  I really wish I had planned this out a bit better….because I don’t know that starting this program and PMS should happen at the same time.  So ladies….if you are going to do this….think about what time of the month it is!  So needless to say I am just a complete and utter joy right now.  And would be right now even if I wasn’t on day for of 30 days of hell.  BUT on the up side…(yes there is an upside!) I will be stronger and come through better for having gone through this (gag).  But seriously it’s one of those things that if I can make it through this…the rest of it….piece of ca…um…Steak!

So I haven’t been exercising at all.  Although it would probably be good for me, especially this week, I’m being a bit of a whimp about the whole thing.  My fitbit yells at me at the end of every day….I’m still logging everything, I’m still staying within all the guidelines.  But, after hell week here is over I can get back on schedule. 

:)