Happy Friday!  First let me say PET/CT scan pictures are way cool.

So the PET/CT scan came back and they didn’t find any cancer any place else.  That is a good thing.  It is localized.  Because there are a few lymph nodes that are positive I have been staged at T4B Stage 3B.  So it’s not a 4 so that’s another good thing.  We also have a plan of attack.  Monday I go in for a Echo cardiogram.  This is to make sure my heart can withstand the Chemo that I’m starting on Tuesday.  I get the port put in on Friday March 4th.

So far the treatment schedule is Chemo for 22 weeks.  Then Surgery (mastectomy).  Then Radiation.  And finally (anti)hormone therapy.

Going to be a long road.  But at least we have a plan now.

Fa La La La la.

Yesterday I met with the Surgeon.  No news, but we are just in the stages of meeting the doctors who are on my team and what they do and what role they play.  So far I feel very comfortable with all my doctors.  So that’s a good thing.

Today I had my first PET/CT scan. Well whoo freakin hoo….Lots of sitting around and not being able to read or have my phone for 2 hours was a challenge.  So you go in, you sit and relax.  They give you Valium…that was awesome.  Then they put an IV in your arm and make you sit there.  Then test your blood sugar.  Because well the isotopes are glucose so…for it to work I had to eat high fat low carb the night before.  No food or anything for 4 hours before the appt.  If your blood sugar is too high they won’t do the test.  So After they have you sit for an hour they move you into this little room.  Again you sit there for like 20 minutes then they inject you with isotope that is “specifically designed for you.”  How special do I feel at this point.  Now I get to drink this white milky drink that kinda tastes like room temperature berry shake.  Maybe it wasn’t bad because I hadn’t had anything to eat since 4:00pm the night before.  But then you get to sit some more for 45 minutes.  When it’s your turn they take the IV out.  (thank god!)  Then you get to lay there again. (lots of lying around today).  So for 30 minutes I had my arms over my head, feet rubber banded together, and pillows on either side of my head.  DO NOT MOVE!    Well it wasn’t as bad as the MRI really.  A lot more quiet.  Kind of soothing.  Of course because I have this obsessive compulsive thing….it took about 3.5 minutes for each section they took pictures.  Yes I seek out patterns.  Like yeah..what else are you going to do when you have to just lay there count time!!!!  Then finally….TA! DA! You are then done.  They take you back to where you started to take your blood pressure and make sure you have a clue. (I was touch and go on the having a clue)   I honestly think I have way too much fun in a hospital.  I asked if I could take some of that Milk/berry contrast home because it was THAT good.  The nurse offered me like a whole bottle to take with me if I wanted.  I didn’t take it…I didn’t want the other patients to be jealous that I got to take it home.  But once again….success…got everyone I came in contact to laugh today.

So, home.  Yeah….nothing is going to be happening with me the rest of the day….Said Milky/berry contrast is not a friend….it is an evil foe.  And that’s all I’ll say about that!

All the tests should be done.  The docs will sit around and talk about me and what they think they should do with me tomorrow.  Then Friday they will present their ideas to me and I will approve or send them back to the drawing board.  I do have a pre-op appointment on Monday for my chest port.  I wasn’t real keen on that until today.  You can really only be poked in the arms so many times before it starts to hurt.  So this will make everything easier or everyone…especially me….and really that’s all that matters!  (ME! ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEE!)

Well that’s all I got up to this point with all that!

The house.  Geeze Louise!  Spent most of the day on the phone yesterday trying to get the bank dude to do his job.  In the two other houses we have purchased we have never had to constantly stay on top of the bank to make sure deadlines are met.  I mean if I had heard one more time that “I don’t have that” when I have the email that I sent with that….I was going to ring his neck!  That and don’t tell me you mailed something when you didn’t.  (The bank is literally 3 blocks from where our apartment is….why are we mailing anything?  I can come get that shit)

OH!  and Total rant from bank visit.  So I just wanted to cash a check.  (I drove because I was running errands and had the dog) In a normal setting you park, go in, they punch the numbers, stamp it and give you money.  Well, we aren’t normal.  I go to park in the fast parking space where there isn’t a meter…because I’m only going to be like 5 minutes.  So woman cuts me off and takes my spot.  Fine…choice words were said and then  I go around the block and park…everything downtown is metered parking.  They have a new metering system.  So I park get out and there is a line of 3 people trying to figure out how the machine works.  oi.  So I run in figure I can just quick get this check cashed and I’ll be out.  Yeah…I crack myself up.  I get to the teller and I guess he’s new or something….So he is trying to find the numbers on the keyboard. So I’m like…I’m going to run out real quick to see if the line has gone down so I can pay this stupid meter.  He’s like “okay”  Well I got out and you have to put in your license plate number (got new license plate the other day so no idea what my plate number is) and then pick if you want 30 minutes for $.50 or more.   Don’t even need 30 minutes but it’s the least amount of time you can choose.  I have no change, I have a dollar.  It doesn’t take dollars.  I get out my card.  It doesn’t take a card for any amount under $1. Okay.  Run back in the bank.  Teller is still fumbling through my 9 digit account number (still).  Finally I’m like…”how can I make this easier for you?”  Blank stare.  “If I just deposit this in the ATM out front would that work better for you?”  The teller next to him says “yes, that would be quicker.”  Okay fantastic.  Go out front and deposit the flipping check into the ATM and then withdraw the amount.  WOW.  I mean really….why is this hard?

Went to get Cleo’s dog license yesterday.  Yeah they don’t just give you the tag…they have to send in the paperwork (to another office 5 minutes on the other side of town) and then mail it to you.  ?????  whatever.  So then we go to get our drivers licenses…yeah…guess who didn’t walk out with actual drivers license….because why?  Oh they have to mail that to you too.  This is not a very efficient state/town from what I have observed so far.

Oh transition.  How much fun…..

I have been a bit busy and haven’t had a chance to update since December!  I said I wasn’t going to be good at this.  Maybe that will change.  New year and all.

So where did I leave off.  I returned the windows phone.  I couldn’t deal and ended up with the Galaxy 6 Active.  It’s much better.  So no more windows crap.

We closed on the house January 5th and I drove up to Montana on the 6th; got in the evening of the 7th.  That was quite the adventure.  Not sure I ever want to do that again.  Wyoming was fine.  Montana up to Billings was fine.  Then the snow.  Yeah….it was a long stressful drive.  But I got here…that’s all that matters.

We are still in the apartment.  We close on our new house on March 2nd.  (Supposedly)  Montana people (for the most part) don’t seem to have a real sense of urgency.  So in this case the bank is taking it’s own sweet time.  I mean I’m sorry but it really doesn’t take 3 weeks to set up an appraisal.  There aren’t THAT many houses for sale up here!  But I’m sure it will all get done.  It’s going to be quite the project.  The house needs some love, but it will give us a chance to make it our own.  Kind of fun picking out new cabinets, flooring and paint.

Now the title.  The first week of December I found a rather large lump in my left breast.  At first I totally freaked out, but then convinced myself that it was nothing…probably just the lipoma coming back.  And if it was serious I would have noticed something that size before.  My last mammogram was March 2014 and nothing showed up.  I couldn’t get in for 2015 because BCH imaging doesn’t like to answer their phone EVER.  Okay fine.  Well we were in the middle of a move anyway and there wasn’t really much I could do.  Pete told me to make an appointment as soon as I got to Missoula.  So as soon as i was sure we were really going to close on the house, I called to make an appointment with a dr. up in Missoula so I could get authorization for a mammogram to find out what the hell this was.

On January 19th I went into the dr and all of a sudden he has this concerned look on his face.  He sets up a Mammogram and an ultrasound as well as an appointment with a breast surgeon.  I’m like…uh….okay.  So I had to have BCH send over my records before anyone could even put me on a schedule.  I’m like seriously?  So of course it takes them what seemed like forever to get their act together.  I was finally able to get the mammogram and ultrasound on January 27th (with some choice words and a firm tone…I’ll just leave that there).  Well the mammogram didn’t show anything and neither did the ultrasound.  They were like “we know there is something there because we can see it and feel it.”  Isn’t that reassuring.  So on the 29th I went to the surgeon and she was baffled.  She ordered an MRI to see if maybe they could see something this way.  So on February 2nd I had my first MRI.  It was like being in a techno club but you couldn’t dance and no cool lights.  The next day I get a call back and I get told “we are concerned it may be a cancer so we are going to set you up with a biopsy to make sure.” I hung up and was like did she just say CANCER?  Well maybe they are just being overly cautious.  But she totally could have said “it looks suspicious and we really can’t tell so we want to biopsy it to make sure..”  So she ordered a core biopsy for February 8th.

Now by this time I’m completely freaking out.  I am crying and having a total mental breakdown because I may possibly have cancer and am going to die.  I get through the biopsy…creepy as hell…the specimens looked like little worms.  It was gross.  But it didn’t hurt and I got to watch it through the ultrasound.  Kind of cool.  Well I was told I should hear something back by Wednesday. (It was a Monday).  Tuesday morning February 9th I get a call saying that my tests came back positive and I do in fact have invasive lobular carcinoma.  Well thank goodness Pete was home for lunch at the time.  I put it on speaker and was just shaking.  Hung up and totally lost it.  I spent the majority of the day in tears.  When Pete got home from work (I made him go back, he didn’t want to) we went for a beer because well…what else are you going to do.  While we were at the brewery I had a call from “the Navigation team” who wanted to to over my pathology report and let me know what all happens next.  Half way through her explaining she stops and says she has to consult with the oncologist because something doesn’t look right and she would call me in the morning.  So I’m like okay.  Again….I freak out.  Now mind you I have been on the internet more than I should have and had myself at Stage IV with it spread to my lungs, bones and everywhere else…I had my death scheduled for this summer.  She called back the next morning bright and early and let me know that she has scheduled me with a bunch of appointments. (oh and the reason she had to talk to the oncologist was because they mislabeled the right and left breast and she wanted to confirm the mistake before she went any further with me)  The first is going to be with the Medical oncologist and then with her to get more information.  So today (Feb 11th) I had my appointment with the Medical Oncologist.  I got to see the images and it was helpful to know that the large 4 inch by 2 inch mass in my breast was not one big large tumor!  Whew!  Basically it was a lot of tissue thickening and a bunch of little tumors…thus why it is lobular.  Well that made me feel better.  I also realized that a majority of the symptoms I was having since the biopsy were all stress related.  So I learned that of all the truly stressful times in my life I could have taken more.  (go me). So this is what I learned about this mass, who I have named Cruella…

1. She is an Invasive Lobular Carcinoma
2. The pathology is at a Grade 2 (this is not the stage, but the rate at which the cancer is growing.  there are 3 grades)
3. It is ER+ and PR+

I am waiting for the Her2 test to come in and although there is no breast cancer in my family at all (yes I’m a trailblazer) I’m having the genetic test done to see if there is any other surprises that await me later on down the road.  They did do some blood work and everything came back within normal parameters.

The next steps:

Tomorrow (2/12) I have an appointment with the Radiology Oncologist

2/16 I have an appointment with a new Surgeon.  The original one I went to only practices at the hospital everyone else is at 2 times a month.  That’s not going to work for me.  So the new Surgeon is the best in town.  (As is my Medical Oncologist)

2/17 I get the PET scan.  This is going to show if the cancer has spread to any other part of my body.  So at this point they will be able to Stage it.  (come on 2 or 3!  one is out of the question already due to the invasive status)

2/18 is the tumor board.  Every Thursday all the cancer docs get together to discuss cases.  This will be the first time I will be part of the discussion.  This is where they are going to look at all the test results and then decide which is the most effective plan of action for my situation.

2/19 is my results appointment with the Medical Oncologist.  She is going to tell me what stage the cancer is at and what my treatment will be…and when it’s going to start.

There is a support group that meets twice a month that I am going to go to and there is also a breast cancer workout group at the gym..whoo hoo.

Well.  That’s all I know.  I am just going to update this blog and if anyone wants to keep track of my little journey fantastic.  I just don’t want to bombard texts and emails and Facebook 20 some times.  Okay yeah, it’s really about me and not wanting to repeat myself 20 some times.  I’m selfish like that!

But as always if you have questions or want to share anything with me I’m more than happy to answer/listen.  You can either comment on the posting or email me directly if you want.  erishe98@gmail.com

I do want to say how much I appreciate all the love and support I have gotten from so many of my friends and family.  Just knowing that someone does care helps me with the battle.  I know it’s going to be a long hard road ahead….and I’m not always going to be positive and/or wanting to talk.  But I’m going to put up one hell of a fight and not give up.

Much love to you all.