Round 2 of chemo started on Tuesday.  They are stacking my Taxol so instead of doing once a week for 12 weeks I’m going to do every other week for 8 weeks.  As long as my numbers stay good I’ll be done on May 31st vs. July 5th.  So that’s good news.  The booster shot (which helps the body produce white blood cells) they give me on day two is just taxing.  Imagine someone sticking knives in  your bones.  This is what it feels like when your body is forced to make white blood cells.  It’s a super good time. Luckily it only lasts for a few days!

I was at my fit to fight session.  I went in pain because it was team competition and of course we won.  I’m not competitive at all.  Anyhoo.  I’m sitting there and this guy comes up to me and asks me if I’m a survivor.   I had no response other than “no I wouldn’t say that. I’m in treatment still so I guess I’m still a fighter.”  He said that he could tell I was on Survivor mode by my look.  Yes sporting the chemo tan, wearing a beanie over the bald head look.  He told me his story, welcomed me to the brother/sisterhood and gave me a fist bump and walked away.  At this point I break down because well I was just given an anti hormone shot the other day and am an emotional wreck because of it.  So that was a good time.  But made me realize I need to toughen the heck up!!!!  I’m not embracing this as I should yet.  I mean I’m getting better, but still not full out warrior. But there is really this community of cancer people that you are automatically accepted into the club if you too have cancer.  Gee…not really a club I wanted to be a part of but…okay I’ll take it.

In a few weeks I’m going to be volunteering for the Fit to Fight Triathlon.   That should be fun.  Maybe being around more cancer survivors will help with this battle mode I need to be in more.

So I have 3 more chemo sessions left (hopefully!).  I am starting to really look at this one day at a time and not get too ahead of myself since I still have quite a road ahead of me still.  The whole thing is quite the roller coaster.  I have my chemo session and day 1 is tiring but not too bad.  Day 2 I get booster shots so still, I’m tired but it’s tolerable. But I’m very emotional and it’s usually a bad day. Days 3, 4 and 5 I am just in pain and tired.  Then about Day 6 I’m just tired but start to want to really go do things.  It builds up til I feel just about normal and then I start all over again.  It’s really exhausting.  Poor Pete has to deal with all this mess.  He should get a vacation when all this is over and done with!  I really think it’s harder on the loved ones than me.