Evidently this part of this awesome little journey is patience.  Because the whole selling of the house by myself for 3 months wasn’t quite enough.  Okay, so patience on a different level. Or maybe the Universe though I forgot and I’m getting a refresher. OR the Universe is letting me know that I’m not in control of this.  Fine whatever.  The whole reason I went in today was because the Dr. wasn’t going to be here this week.  I specifically asked if there was little to no fluid could the other Dr. make the call.  I was told yes. This is the ONLY reason we scheduled with another dr (the one who put in my port). We wanted to keep everything on schedule.  So I go in, she didn’t want to drain anything because there wasn’t enough to drain. SHE would have had me start PT like 3 weeks ago.  BUT we have to wait for my Dr. to come back which won’t be until the 30th. She did try to drain out of one side and got some fluid. But the side where the tumor was she couldn’t get anything. And again I almost passed out because yes I may not have any feeling on the surface of my skin but you go far enough in and it hurts like a bitch. Seriously.  So I have to sit and wait until the 30th to see if I can finally start PT.  Whatever.  I ask if there are any exercises I can do that don’t affect the area we are being concerned about. I get told no. I only ask because I’m having a lot of back problems now because of all this. The nurse then goes. “Did you see a chiropractor?” I just deadpan looked at her face and said “Really?” “I can’t do any type of exercises with my upper body, can’t lay on my side and stomach and you somehow think getting adjusted by a chiropractor isn’t going to upset the balance of the universe.” I was like whatever. The other nurse said we will keep this appointment but if something comes open where they can squeeze me in before then we will. At least he is trying.  Bitch is lucky she wasn’t sitting closer to me I would have kicked her.  We leave and I’m all upset.  I threw my appt sheet away.  I’m so over it.

I totally had my hissy fit for about 30 minutes.  I’m pretty much over it now. I mean okay, it is what it is. We are being careful and don’t want to create any problems down the road. I get that. Eventually I’ll start PT and it won’t take long for me to get my range of motion back so I can start Radiation. The whole thing is I want to get radiation in before it starts to snow since I have to drive in every single day. That’s the real reason I’m pushing to get this done. I feel like I have a time limit. I don’t.  The fact is I’m just kind of over this whole situation and would like to move on…that’s even more why I want this to start now.  I will go down the way it goes down.  I’ll go though treatments when it’s time for me to do so.  It will end when it’s supposed to. I just need to relax, chill out and accept that it is the way it is. “you don’t have to like the rules, but you have to accept them”  FINE!

So I’m lining up the books I can read over the next week or two. That should keep me distracted.  What’s another couple weeks.  Let’s hope my body can start absorbing some fluid!!