As I was sitting here the last few days I’ve realized all the things that have gone on the last few years.  Two years ago on September 17th I had my hysterectomy.  I have a whole theory about how this is what threw my body into a hormonal frenzy which brought me to where I am today…but I won’t go into that.  I just remember at the time I thought that was like the worst surgery ever.  I think I would trade it now. So I take that back.

THEN last year on September 17th I left for New York to visit my cousin. See NYC/Madonna 2015 Trip for details.  I look back at some of the pictures and it was like they were telling me something… for instance:

 We were walking down the street and I just happened to pick out this picture and was drawn to it..so I took a picture thinking I may need to be reminded one day. Who knew that this was a message to myself in just a few short months.  I mean between the staying behind to sell the house while the husband moved to Montana, to the finding of the lump just 2 months later and trying to convince myself that it was nothing.  DENIAL!!!!  I don’t think I was really denial, it was me trying to stay positive.

Then there was this beauty:

What the heck possessed me to take this picture in the first place? I mean again…walking through the park and of all the things to take a picture of…really?  The cosmos trying to tell me something. Not typically the type of picture I would take. But at the time it struck me.

So then we go to the Madonna concert. of course I had been listening to the entire album months prior. I mean one must be able to sing at least 90% of the songs at the concert you are going to!  But one song stuck out more that the rest for me.  Little did I know it would end up being my theme song through everything that has happened the last year. So I ended up playing this song as I left Colorado after being there for 17 years.  I played this as I entered Missoula, a place I had never been to but would end up calling home and a place my life would forever change.  I played this to every Drs appointment, every chemo appointment, going to surgery and will play it through every radiation treatment.  When I start to think I can’t get through something I play this to remind me to be Iconic.

Iconic – Madonna

[Intro – Mike Tyson:]
I’m the best the world has ever seen. (I’m the best ever!)
I’m somebody you’ll never forget cause I work hard and sweat in my tears. (Can’t be stopped!)
I’m never falling again and if I did, I’d come back

[Verse 1 – Madonna:]
If you try and fail, get up again
Destiny will choose you in the end
If you don’t make the choice
And you don’t use your voice
Someone else will speak for you instead
What you want is just within your reach
But you gotta practice what you preach
You pay with sweat and tears
And overcome your fears
Never let the fire inside you leave

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

[Verse 3 – Madonna:]
Tell me I’m no good and I’ll be great
Say I have to fight and I can’t wait
Standing in the wings
A butterfly that stings
I will rise above cuz it’s my fate

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

[Bridge – Madonna:]
Born to be a superstar, that’s exactly what you are
Born to be a superstar, that’s exactly what you are

[Verse 4 – Chance The Rapper:]
Alright
Firefly change when they catch ya
Wanna put ya in their net for their light glow
Yellow brick highway
Paparazzi piled up on the high road
They just turned the sun into an idol
They just want to see how high the sky go
Just to find how it feel to fall back
Madonna said I remind her of Michael
Steady blowin’ up my head
Blowin’ up my head
Put it on your wall
Put me in the school book
Put me in your laws
Put me in the desk
And in the synagogues
Firefly glow when they catch ya
Wanna catch ya when ya lights go dim
Wanna turn you to a letter in their logo
Wanna stick you in a jar with a pen
You an icon

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

So in a sense the trip to NYC planned by my cousin was the preamble to my new life.  It was one last hurrah before shit got real. And I will be forever grateful to him for doing all that for me.  Even if he had no idea what it would all end up meaning.

Oh and then I get all Holy Water (Bitch Get Off My Pole!)