RANT! RANT! RANT! First. I know I say this a lot and

I know I say this a lot and I never quite follow through. I get sucked into the monster that is Facebook. The problem is I don’t want to unfriend anyone because I do like the people or at least find the people I’m friends with interesting and enjoy most of their commentary. I want to keep up with everyone to find out what is going on with them. I’m trying to limit the negativity in my life. Which considering everything going on in the world today is rather difficult at times. But I have noticed that some people tend to be a tad on the dramatic side and take everything to a whole level that I can’t quite deal with at this time. I get it that people are all up in arms about some topic or another. And I’m sure I am criticized at some point for not being vocal enough on the topics of the time. I have plenty to say about things that are going on. I just choose to not share those opinions on social media. Why? I mean it would be nice to express thoughts and then have a civil conversation with people on the topic. Agree or disagree. That would be fantastic. I could totally get into that. But it seems to me that so many people seem to be overly passionate to the point that they can’t call people by their actual names or group name; they have to throw an insult in there. What is the point of name calling? We get it, you don’t like or agree with that person or group. But what does that accomplish? Seems a bit on the childish side. And everyone is quick to point out how immature the other group is being when they are both doing it. So I choose to stay out of it. And venting to one another on Twitter or Facebook isn’t going to solve anything. I mean I don’t know. Maybe the government sits around and reads all the posts on FB tagged with certain words and then they go…”You know what? People aren’t happy. We should do something.” I’m thinking that happens as much as Jesus sits around seeing who has typed “Amen” to a meme.  So maybe all these people should actually do something…contact someone who can actually make something happen. And even if you do contact someone who can do something…you aren’t required to post it on Social Media so that you can make sure everyone knows that “You took a stand.” I mean if you want to post something to the effect of “Stand up and do something…contact XXX” Fantastic. Do that. But otherwise to me is like doing a good deed for someone anonymously then posting about it so everyone knows you did it. Why can’t people do things for themselves, not for “likes.”  Okay done with RANT! RANT! RANT!

Anyway, I’ve decided to try to limit the time I spend on Social Media for 2017. And by limit I mean check it like at the beginning or end of the day and that’s it. Honestly, if something major and life changing is happening in the world I have people that will text me about it. So Change 1.  Social Media time limited to 30 minutes at the beginning or end of the day. I think to help with this I’m going to take it off my phone and only check on my computer. This will make it easier for me to not be tempted.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk the last few weeks. I think everything is starting to catch up with me. I NEED A PLAN! LOL! because I can’t seem to function without structure and goals. That is one thing I’ve learned about myself this year. Totally need a schedule or I just wander off into la la land and accomplish nothing for days. So my second change is to come up with a schedule for myself and stick to it. And there lies the problem. Sticking to something. Finding will power. Heck. Finding the will. Maybe I should do the opposite for a change not over think everything and just do shit. I have always created these goals and plans and when I don’t follow through with them I feel like I’ve failed. Hmmm. So I need to either follow through with them or not create them to begin with.

I need to find some classes or volunteer work to start out. Eventually, I’ll need to find an actual job. But until then I need to fill up that time and not sit around and just wait for things to happen. So I guess that’s my other thing. Not sitting around waiting for life to come at me, to go out and get life and make shit happen. (honestly that’s the goal, but at this precise moment getting out of bed or off the couch is a huge victory)  I’ll get there, I just feel like I need some time to process all this and mourn (for lack of a better word). I don’t know, maybe I don’t and I need to stop being a drama queen and buck up and get off my ass and move on. I’m trying not to make the last year a big deal. But the more I think about it, the more I think it was kind of a big deal. But I can’t dwell on it. I have to say “Yep, that sucked, what’s next.”

I am truly grateful for my husband who has been so supportive and I know he’s trying to push me to move on and not get stuck here. But it’s a tough position for him to be in. I mean he has to time what he says just right so I don’t fly off the handle into some drama-laden rant about lord knows what. He should really get a medal or something for all this. I wish he had more support this last year. I can’t imagine what it was like to be in his shoes dealing with all that he had to deal with. I think he has come out stronger through all this as well. But I have to wonder. If I’m going through this transition chaos, he must be going through some sort of chaos of his own….most likely created by yours truly.

Hmmmm. So much to ponder….and that seemed to go off topic a bit.