I really hope I don’t do this forever. Tomorrow is a really big day. First, my one and only child was born 26 years ago tomorrow.  I hope he has a most wonderful day tomorrow.  I miss not being there. It does make me happy that he has started his own life and is starting his own family.

NOW. One year ago I went to the Dr so I could get a mammogram. I’ll never forget the look on the Dr’s face when he was examining my breast. I’ve never seen that look on a doctor’s face before and it scared the shit out of me. Not 10 minutes after I was being rushed around the hospital getting set up with “the best” doctors and surgeons in Missoula.  My head was spinning. For the next 3 weeks being poked and prodded. And exactly 3 weeks later I was diagnosed. It’s just so crazy. It’s strange to try to explain that it’s been a year since “normal.” The whole year has been very surreal. I’m now transitioning into my new normal and realizing that it’s going to be okay. We had one of the Oncologists speak at the support group meeting today. I was a little hesitant to go at first because the topic was stated as “Reoccurrence.” And I didn’t know how I felt about that. Well, I’m glad I went because he just basically had an open forum to answer any questions. So it was good. One of the ladies in our little social group is stage 4 and didn’t have good news today. I’m glad I went to the meeting to see her. We have a group of 5 of us who usually do lunch on the weeks we don’t have support group.  I really enjoy our little group. We have all been at different stages so it’s good to get different perspectives and support each other.

So the business is officially a business with the state of Montana. Got that certification today. So that was pretty exciting. I have to get myself into some sort of rhythm with this whole thing.  I didn’t really work on it today because of support group and working out.  But tomorrow is a new day. I do have to call the staffing agency tomorrow….phone screen. I figured I can work part time or temp jobs while this business thing gets started. As much as I would love to sit around the house I think it would be best for me to start really getting out there. I would love to do something remotely. Still going to keep an eye out for that.

Right now I’m on this “I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING!” kind of mode!  I’m sure I’ll settle down after awhile

I’m on day 2 of the real work-out program. Up until now, I’ve been doing light cardio…walking, jogging, swimming. Yesterday I added actual weights. Slow, low weight, high reps. Yesterday was upper body and cardio.  Today was lower body and cardio. I’m sore and it feels wonderful! It’s the first time I’ve felt normal pain in a year. I have also realized that as long as I exercise I don’t really feel the side effects of the meds. Except for the hot flashes…but yeah, I’m kinda getting over those….so whatever.