I updated my hair chronicles and I didn’t realize I haven’t posted since the end of January. So Here we are 10 months post chemo, 9 months post surgery and almost 5 months since radiation and treatment ended. Seems like a complete life ago. I still tell people I just moved here because I really don’t remember 2016 at all. And as I sit here in do taxes it’s been a challenge to come to the realization that 2016 did, in fact, happen regardless if I was in it or not.
The end of January I decided I was going to register with the staffing agency to see if I can get warmed up and stop sitting around the house. I was very apprehensive about starting any type of job…with people…because I really didn’t feel like my mind was altogether there quite yet. I spent a lot of time doing word games and mind games on the computer. Brain exercises if you will. But I was convinced the only way to truly exercise my brain and get it back together was to get out there and use it in real world situations. On February 3rd I started a temp job. It was doing HR stuff so basically what I was doing before I left Colorado. So something familiar. That was good. It was nice to talk to people on the phone. I realized when I do interviews now I view them very differently. Every interview that I do I learn something from. Even when interviewing for an intern position. In fact, I think I have learned more from the younger men and women around here than the seasoned ones. It’ has been a good experience for me to get back into the swing of things. Remind me what I like and don’t like if that’s changed. And tested my patience. I have to admit. At first, I had way more patience than I do now. I found myself getting into old mindsets and old habits. For a few days, I was very disappointed in myself because I hadn’t seemed to learn much of anything over the past year. I stopped working out as much. I stopped going to support group. I stopped eating right. I stopped journaling. I stopped listening to my body. And just the other day I did something that I am completely ashamed of which made me stop in my tracks. I had signed up for a Living Art class for current and former cancer patients. It is a 6-week course that is supposed to give you your “me time” and help with the mental journey. The night I was supposed to start, I got held up at work and made the decision to pick work over this class. So there we have it. I had learned absolutely nothing. I went right back to putting a job (a temp job mind you) ahead of my own self and well-being. As I was updating my hair post I started reading some of my old entries and it brought me back down to the reality of it all. This assignment ends this Friday. Although I wish I could just stay there, I think it’s best for me to take a step back and regroup. Take what I’ve learned these last 2 months and really think about things.
So in the midst of all this, I’m trying to get this business started. As I get deeper into it, I’m starting to come up with more idea on how I can truly make this a viable business. Of course, now I want to change the entire look and feel of my website. I decided I don’t like it anymore. It’s just BASIC! So I have to see what I can do. I need new and fresh and it’s kinda clunky and awkward I think. And as much as I LOVE flowers I need to not have them maybe so prominent on my page. So I’m going to do that this weekend while I rest from doing taxes (yes I wait longer than I should)
We did start doing Pilates on Saturday mornings and Yoga on Sunday mornings. Um yeah. So pilates is hard. Yoga is hard. I’m sore for like 3 days afterward. But I’m getting back on track here. With my theme of picking up where I left off a year ago, I’ve got my exercise schedule all figured out. And today is day one with no sugar. For the record, I want to rip eyes out. When I say no sugar I’m talking, besides the obvious of anything with refined sugar in it, but bread and anything that has added sugar in it. Like there is some kick-ass potato salad in the refrigerator right now I would love to get into. But I must be strong. I am only asking myself for 30 days. The month of April. Nothing but vegetables, fruit, meat, legumes, some olive oil and of course spices. So I usually use myfitnesspal. And as much as I love it. And will probably still update it, I got this book to track everything. I’m a tactile person and the act of physically writing down what goes in my mouth and seeing it a certain way on paper works better for me. (Thanks Pam!)
Now the last time I did this I started out for 30 days and ended up going 3 months and lost 30 pounds and felt wonderful. I didn’t feel great the first few weeks, but I had so much more energy. I believe some of my very first posts on this blog were surrounding this program. I’m sure if I went back and read them I would read something to the effect of “I will never do this again as long as I live!” So much drama.
My pledge to myself is for 30 days:
- No sugar added into anything. (Vegetables, Fruit, Meat and legumes)
- Track everything that goes into my mouth! (don’t be nastiiieee!)
- Exercise at least 4 days a week
- Journal every day. I need to get my thoughts down and out of my head!
- Blog once a week on something here. (I also have to start blogging for my business site)
- DO NOT GET ON A SCALE!
- Get at least 8 hours of sleep. Easier said than done but this means basically that I need to actually go to bed at a decent hour during the week.
They say it takes something like 21 days to form a habit. I don’t know we’ll see.
