I have been in the throws of packing and purging.  I rented one of those dumpster bins. I got rid of like everything.  Beds, shelves, wood, trash,  desks, lights, chairs….gone!  I have to say the actual throwing away of things was very therapeutic.  But the destruction of some of these things was beyond therapeutic.  I’m sure there is a term, but it was amazing!  Something about smashing the hell out of things with a hammer and then getting to throw it away.  It was an amazing experience.  See…channeling my stress….

The movers are scheduled, the truck is scheduled, the disassembling of the pool table is scheduled.  I’m spending the next week packing the remainder of the stuff in the house.  I only have like 17 days so I have to go to like minimum.  I have to stop being afraid to just pack it up!  No one else is going to do it so… All the packing materials came today.  So no excuses at all.  Tomorrow I start in the loft and I’m just going to work my way around.  Then I have to organize the garage!  So I am going to be crazy busy.

Birthday was kind of a success.  Even though Pete was not here….he still sent me a birthday present. (the computer was supposed to be the birthmas present but…)  The kids came over and totally surprised me with the necklace I wanted.  I honestly didn’t think he would really get it.  So I was kind of in shock!  We did Christmas too.  That was fun.  Then we ate a lot of snack food, tiramisu, cannolis, almond amaretto cake, and tiramisu gelato.  It was pretty amazing.

Broke down and finally gave up my Galaxy today.  It was driving me crazy.  I am going to give this Windows Lumina 950 a shot.  See how that works out.  It’s very different than what I’m used to.  But I’m going to give it a shot.  I don’t want to get another Galaxy because it has its own issues.  I refuse to have another iPhone.  So I’m running out of options.  Pete hates his LG, but Erik loves his Nokia.  I’m totally going to live on the edge! (no pun intended)  The one thing I do wish is that it had the same apps as the desktop version.  But there was a time Andriod didn’t have as many as Apple.  So who knows.  It could be a major contender in a few years!  I just can’t do Galaxy for the same reason I won’t do iPhone.  They are out of control.  Galaxy is the iPhone of the android world in my mind.  They are too commercialized.  I’ve never been one to go along with the crowd!  Galaxy wasn’t real popular when I switched from the iPhone…now look what happened!  So maybe I can make the Windows phone the next big thing!

I’m still playing with it.  Some things I really like.  Some things I think I just have to get used to.  I mean I’ve had an Andriod for quite a few years, and I really just wanted a whole new feel and experience.  Well, I’m getting that!  But I’m finding it amazing how hard it is to cross over from Google to Windows.  There are some things that work…but others that don’t.  So we’ll see if they give in and give access to some google apps (Hangouts, Chrome….why Windows 10 hates Chrome so much…)  Well…I’ll give this a couple years and see how it goes.  I do have to say, the actual phone works a lot better!  I talked to Pete and with my Galaxy he was all garbled and I couldn’t never really hear him…very frustrating.  But with the Windows phone….didn’t have that problem.  So that was nice.  And the camera is kind of cool.  Definitely pros and cons.

Not much going on at this point.  I don’t really have anything to rant about outside the usual incompetence and ignorance of the human race.  So nothing new on this front.  All I will say on that topic is 1. you are not the only one in the world…you actually share this planet with others.  2. Read. Do research. Don’t take the word of a meme or overly zealous friend ranting on their opinion. 3. Think before you talk. And before you open your mouth think if someone was saying that to you.  How would you take your own words?

I think I’m done with all the holiday shopping.  Ten more days until we do our little celebration.  I have that to get excited about.  I sent out a package to Pete today.  (I just had a total deja vu moment!)  I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to decorate.  I am still totally up in the air about it.  I’ll have to see how I feel about it this weekend.  I think it’s going to come down to the fate of the universe in the next few days.

It was 69 degrees today.  Which is really weird for this time of year.  But I’m not going to complain about it.  I got the leaves all raked up today. That was fun.  A big yard is great until you have to rake that shit.  So  I don’t know if I would want to rake a yard any bigger than we have. I have a love-hate relationship with yard work at this juncture of my life.  Maybe if I was in better shape I would feel different about it.  I keep trying to look at it as the Rocky Balboa school of getting in shape.

I was supposed to go back to my cutting out the grains/wheat/dairy this week.  I’ve been so stressed over the state of the house that I did good for a day, but that was about it.  So I am going to try it again this weekend. Tomorrow I’m going to try not to be too stupid.  I really wanted ice cream (frozen yogurt) but quickly remembered every time I eat any type of frozen desert it never ends well.  So I opted for a cup of tea.  I have to get back into the state of mind of when I feel like I deserve a treat to just drink a glass of water or a cup of tea.

Let’s hope we get some good news tomorrow and I can move forward with everything!

I really never thought I had a problem.  I mean I save things because I like to keep what people give me.  I save things because you never know if you may need it again someday.  And I save things because when you come across it every so often it’s like getting presents!

I’m in the process of packing the house up.  And of course, you have to go through everything.  On the up side, I found my DD214 I thought I lost…and my VA loan certificate.  So it was kind of an eventful evening!  Wow.  Some of the things I keep.  I really need to go through and file everything at least.  I suppose I could do that now since I really have nothing else to do.  But most likely I will wait. It will be part of my setting up and organizing the new house when that time comes.  We must not rush into these things!

I’m sure there are a whole lot of things I could still get rid of.  But the fact that I am actually throwing stuff out is a good thing.  It’s a big deal for me to get rid of things.  So I’m totally going to do this in stages.  I think it’s the best solution for me at this time.

I’m in the process of tackling the loft i.e. the reading room.  I went through the closet and next are books.  I have hundreds of books.  So my plan is to keep the ones I absolutely can’t part with.  Then take the rest over to the library or maybe the bookstore in town.  I just need to know that they will go somewhere that people will appreciate them.

Once the loft is cleared out I can move to what used to be my craft room.  that isn’t going to take much time since I pretty much already went through this room once.  It’s just a matter of putting things that are left in boxes.  (Have no idea how I’m going to transport mom…that’s a whole different story…poor mom)

but I’m just going to go through one room at a time.  Trying to keep myself occupied at this point.  I’m sort of a wreck.  Inspection is on Monday and although I know everything will be fine, I have to be the forever pessimist just in case something goes wrong and I’m not disappointed.  I really have to stop doing that…positive feeds positive…. Anyhoo.  After next week hopefully I’ll be a little more relaxed about most things.  Because then there is a whole different phase of stress to deal with.  I have been trying to compartmentalize the entire situation.  Working very hard on just worrying about one thing at a time.  I think if I were to try to handle everything at once I would drive myself crazy.  So now that I’m over the stressing over the showings and why no one has made an offer yet….I’m onto OMG I hope these people don’t back out and everything goes smooth regarding all the inspections and loan processes and titles.  After that is done I can worry about packing everything and the logistics of the actual move.  And then the whole once I get to Montana deal….I can’t go there yet.

Needless to say, I have moved from wine to Rum and/or vodka.

IT’S ALL A MESS!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I thought I had a plan and had things figured out something changes.  I figured I had the plan to take the house off the market the 1st of December, do some upgrades, put the house back on the market after the first of the year like February.  Well depending on who you talk to in our camp we should do something different.

On one hand I have people saying we should do upgrades, not spend a whole lot of money (but do floors and the kitchen….not sure what that all entails yet).  Then there is the theory of dropping the price again by another $10-15K and let it ride.  Then there is the idea to not do anything.  The price is right, the upgrades don’t really matter since there is no guarantee that people are going to even like the upgrades you do and will just change to what they like anyway.  And just wait it through since it’s slow during the holidays anyway.

So I’ve been trying to get a census of what everyone things.  The major consensus it seems is to take it off the market for the remainder of the year.  don’t change the price, and don’t do any upgrades.  But who knows, this could all change tomorrow.  I don’t think anyone knows anything.  And I don’t know that there is any way to tell exactly which direction is right or wrong.

The only thing I know right now is to not do anything until December 1st. But there is just no telling.  I think the frustrating thing for me is that I am the type of person that needs a direction.  I need to be doing something productive and right now it’s like I can’t really do anything.  I’m trying to find something I can do to make a little cash from home.  I have realized I’m not good if I don’t have a schedule.

I keep trying to convince myself it will all work out in the end.  Everything will be okay.  Once the house is sold and I’m up in Montana we will look back at this and laugh and how we were worrying about nothing.  The unknown is always scary and unsettling.

In other news.  I’ve been dizzy all day long.  Like to the point where I can’t walk straight.  I also have ear pain.  So I’m sure it’s just some ear infection or some sinus thing throwing me off.  I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water today.  Hopefully I’ll be a bit better tomorrow.

So tomorrow I figure I’ll clean…because well…why not.  And I’ll pick something else to pack.   Which the neighbor keeps bringing me boxes.  Which I am very grateful for but I’m going to have to tell her I have plenty right now!

You know how sometimes you plan to do something but you just don’t think it through?  You get so caught up in getting it done that you don’t think how important the planning part truly is.  Well after the house has been on the market for 2 months I look back and wish we had done some things differently right out of the gate.  The biggest thing is that we were not looking at our house the proper way.  Just because we like the way it looks or it’s good for us, so doesn’t mean that someone else is going to like it and it’s good for them.  I think that may be the hardest part about this process.  Taking yourself out and looking at it through different eyes.

Now when we were first looking to put our house on the market one of the first things I was concerned about were the kitchen counter tops.  I mean I know that they are dated.  I know that granite or some other updated material was pretty standard.  But I was told not to worry about it so I didn’t.  I asked if there was anything we could do.  I was told to just make sure everything was clean and we would be fine.

After about a month I really started to look at and research the houses and what things looked like….what the standard seemed to be.  And after showing after showing we still aren’t getting any serious bites.  No offers after 2 months.  We have had people who liked the house but they weren’t crazy about the fixtures….things needed updates.  We lowered the price 2 times in hopes to get someone to bite.  In the mean time I’m still watching what was selling and what prices were.  And it still came down to the fact that our house was outdated and I really feel at this point that we could lower the price to where we aren’t going to make anything off of the house and it still wouldn’t fly.  Why?  I truly believe because of something as simple as paint.  I mean I don’t know for a true fact or not…that is still yet to be seen.  But I think by just updating the paint that is going to make a world of difference.

As a homeowner there are things that you like.  There are things that you dislike.  When you go to sell your house your feelings and what you like doesn’t matter any more.  You HAVE to go mainstream and look at what everyone else likes.  You have to be forced to go against everything you believe in (painting wood) sometimes and give the people what they want.  Now again I don’t know if this is going to be the trick that does it but I think it’s going to make a huge difference.

I have said and maintained that this whole moving process is going to happen in such a way that it is going to force me (us) to learn and grow.  It’s going to be a hard road but many lessons are going to come from it.   And I know a lot of people are like “Really?  You should have known this.” “This is a pretty obvious thing, how ridiculous.”  Well, welcome to my world and our journey.  It’s not important how you get somewhere, it’s important that you get there.  I’m still looking at this as a very good situation.  Sometimes it takes extremes for the little things to come to light.

So from here I’m hoping I actually get my way. (Because I like to get my way)  If I do get my way, I can take the house off the market for 2 months.  Take this time to repaint the interior and do a few other upgrades that have been pointed out from the feedback we have gotten.  Now that I have brought up the feedback let me say a few words on this…..

After there is a showing you receive feedback.  Everyone wants to hear all these wonderful things about how they loved the house and how well it shows and that it’s a nice sturdy house.  That’s all good, but if that was the truth why aren’t you putting in an offer?  I want to hear the bad and the ugly more than the good.  I mean I own the house and have lived here for over a decade.  I already know what is good about it.  I know what I like.  I want to know what you don’t like.  I want to know what the people are looking for.  I mean I need to sell a house.  I need to make sure I’m presenting it so that it’s the most enticing to people.  At this point my opinion and likes don’t matter any more.  No one gives a shit what I like or think.  That is a very hard lesson to face in the whole house selling journey.  Probably the hardest one to accept.

Now I’m going to look at these last 2 months as training.  It was a hard training. It was not quite what we had planned, but a whole lot was learned.  After the first of the year, we will see what happens at that point.

On a side note.  I was going to do this whole video montage of the journey of our move from Colorado to Montana.  I have decided against it.  First that would mean that I would have to be on the video and talk and then edit.  That’s just way too much work.  So this is just going to have to suffice.

Not that there really is any drama…it’s always such an attention grabber!

Today is Friday.  Nothing happened at all today.  Very uneventful day.  So  we are in the midst of a limbo situation here.  I’m staying behind wrapping up Colorado life and my husband is in Montana ramping up Montana life.  It’s been 2 months since the house was put on the market and he has been up in Montana for a month.  I find myself asking people for advice.  Which most people are so self absorbed and drama laden that it’s a complete waste of energy to do so.  I think the biggest thing I have learned this last month is that people generally suck.  People offer to help, but they don’t want to really help…or they want to help in what THEY want to help with, not so much what you really need.  They want to make themselves feel good.  Because here in this day and age it’s all about what makes you feel good.  Screw the real needs of individuals.  The fact that you can say “Well I offered to ___________”  And you have then gotten the acceptance and overwhelming phrase you were looking for.  Good for you.

Since there are very few people that I can truly talk to about issues….I mean honestly.  Everyone I seem to talk to somehow turns it about them.  Wouldn’t it be crazy if I got to just vent and make it about me for just one day? (thus my own freakin blog!  Try to shut me up!  Just try!)  But again…people are entitled and in that entitlement…they are the most important person in the whole wide world.  And besides…I’m sure in there they asked how you were in some back assed way.  But I suppose in everyone’s defense…what do you say to someone who is going through a bunch of shit.  I mean you have a few types of people.  One type that will avoid you because, OMG you may ask them for something and they really don’t want to hear your problems…I mean they have their own issues.  Then you have the other type that completely thrives on the drama of every situation.  They are the gems to talk to.  They will bring up everything they think you did wrong..they will add their “what if” statements that are always a comfort, they will add fuel to the fire to get you even more upset than you were before  (…but what…I am helping).

The other thing I find it interesting is that once you are of no use to someone they dismiss you completely.  You never realize who your true friends are (and aren’t) until you leave or are trying to leave.  I was looking at my Face Book list of friends the other day.  So many people that would talk to me when I worked with them or were involved in some event or something (because they needed something…)  But as soon as that stops…they don’t bother with you any more.  I find that very interesting about humans.  I’m not going to say I don’t do it as well, because I do.  I try not to…I mean I try to touch base with people on some level every so often.  But lately….why bother.

So as I’m trying to keep my own shit together.  I do a whole lot of blocking  (youuurrrrr Blocking…old SNL skit reference)  I talk to myself probably way too much.  And the dog.  She’s my comic relief.  So I think I’m going to stick with Cleo stories and positivity.  Otherwise this entire Blog is going to be me bitching about humanity.  But on the other hand that could be rather interesting.  But seriously, I really am trying to keep it as positive as I can.  But I am human and I’m going to fall off the wagon every so often and RANT! RANT! RANT!  Like some Nastiiieee Prostitution Whorah!!!!!!