Tag Archive | #iconic

The Hair – The Journey.

Nov1
2-23-16

First day of Chemo 2/23/16

3-5-16

Just got port in few days prior to this 3/5/16.

3-7-16

Hair starting to thin 3/7/16.  Best to keep it braided…it was a HOT MESS! Literally one day it just started coming out in lumps

3-15-16

Hair really thinning 3/15/16. This was obviously NOT a good day.  Chemo was starting to get pretty rough at this point. And let me point out my head hurt from my hair coming out.

3-30-16-2

Got it shaved 3/30/16. Fuck that noise! Taking control of the situation.

4-30-16

Then it just fell out all over the place.. At least it was little hairs…..Just about gone 4/30/16.  During this time there are no face shots of me bald because we had also just bought a house, moved and something had to give…so this is as good as that got.

 

5-30-16

5/30/16 next to the last day of Chemo – Losing eyebrows and eyelashes. The last few months were pretty rough. I should have taken a picture of my hands.  They were brown and peeling…it was crazy.

6-30-16

6/30/16 a few days after surgery. I felt like one of those hairless cats….Looked like one too!!!! A month after chemo stopped and not a strand of hair on my body. These were probably some of the darkest days. 1 month post chemo

7-30-16

7/30/16 starting to come back. These were my weekly visits to the surgeon days. 2 months post chemo

8-30-16

8/30/16 Actual Hair coming in…feeling pretty bad ass about it. 3 months post chemo

9-30-16-2

9/30/16 Finally stopped wearing the scarf on my head. 4 months post chemo

10-27-16

10/27/16 Almost done with Radiation. Hair at strange awkward stage. 5 months post chemo

 

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11/7/16 Last day of Radiation. Last day of Treatment

 

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11/30/2016 6 months post Chemo. (Wednesdays we wear pink)

 

1/31/17 – 8 months since Chemo. Finally got it colored today! No cut though….

 2/28/17.  9 months since Chemo. Hair looks darker than it really is here. Bad lighting!

 

 3/30/17 10 months since Chemo.  And 1 year since I got my head shaved! Still haven’t gotten it trimmed or anything…just colored. I am wearing a headband so it’s pulled back. But kinda feeling like a hippie.

4/30/17 11 months since chemo. I can almost braid parts of it. It’s out of control and crazy. I have not gotten anything trimmed or cut yet. Still not sure I’ll ever cut it again. The thickness is a little less than it was before but not real noticeable. It’s getting better. Still really curly. I actually blow it out to straighten it. I’ll have to get a “natural” picture. But nice to not have to really use a curling iron yet.

Rebuilding!!

Sep28

Went to the gym today. (I know 3 posts in one day…I just thought they should be all different posts rather than one big long one….the average human doesn’t have the attention span to read more than half a page).  I usually get on the treadmill and walk. Yawn. Then I go stretch. Then I go home.  Today I was prepared to do the same thing.  I walked into the locker room to put my stuff in there and look up and this little kid is looking at me confused. Then asks his mom if I was a girl or a boy. The mother reassured him that only girls were allowed in this locker room. So. Yeah. My first reaction was to be very upset and want to cry and leave. Then I’m like…it’s a kid. You see a person with short hair and no boobs it’s kind of a fair question. So as I’m convincing myself to not take it personally and get very self conscience about my appearance (I mean I have just gotten the courage to go without the scarf on my head!)  I get upstairs and look at the treadmill, then look at the elliptical machine. The old me used to do the elliptical and a beastly pace. Well today I decided to see how I would fare on that elliptical Machine. I started out slow. Used the one with the arm poles.  I never used to use those, but I do them on the bike in therapy so why not. It was feeling pretty good at a slow pace. Started getting into the rhythm of the music and then after 5 minutes stepped it up. Still felt good.  So I would do slow and then every 5 minutes do faster for a minute. It felt good to get my heart rate up and start to sweat a little bit.  I thought LEVEL UP! So I’m feeling good enough to up the workout. So I do my 30 minutes on there and I’m leaving and then there is THE MACHINE. It’s a beast. I’m like let me just get on real quick to see what it feels like.  Well I have a goal.

This bugger takes some coordination and is no joke! So I will do 30 minutes on this in the next few weeks!!!

20160928_130940

Iconic – BITCH Get Off My Pole!

Sep20

As I was sitting here the last few days I’ve realized all the things that have gone on the last few years.  Two years ago on September 17th I had my hysterectomy.  I have a whole theory about how this is what threw my body into a hormonal frenzy which brought me to where I am today…but I won’t go into that.  I just remember at the time I thought that was like the worst surgery ever.  I think I would trade it now. So I take that back.

THEN last year on September 17th I left for New York to visit my cousin. See NYC/Madonna 2015 Trip for details.  I look back at some of the pictures and it was like they were telling me something… for instance:

20150918_125127 We were walking down the street and I just happened to pick out this picture and was drawn to it..so I took a picture thinking I may need to be reminded one day. Who knew that this was a message to myself in just a few short months.  I mean between the staying behind to sell the house while the husband moved to Montana, to the finding of the lump just 2 months later and trying to convince myself that it was nothing.  DENIAL!!!!  I don’t think I was really denial, it was me trying to stay positive.

Then there was this beauty:

What the heck possessed me to take this picture in the first place? I mean again…walking through 20150918_142219the park and of all the things to take a picture of…really?  The cosmos trying to tell me something. Not typically the type of picture I would take. But at the time it struck me.

So then we go to the Madonna concert. of course I had been listening to the entire album months prior. I mean one must be able to sing at least 90% of the songs at the concert you are going to!  But one song stuck out more that the rest for me.  Little did I know it would end up being my theme song through everything that has happened the last year. So I ended up playing this song as I left Colorado after being there for 17 years.  I played this as I entered Missoula, a place I had never been to but would end up calling home and a place my life would forever change.  I played this to every Drs appointment, every chemo appointment, going to surgery and will play it through every radiation treatment.  When I start to think I can’t get through something I play this to remind me to be Iconic.

Iconic – Madonna

[Intro – Mike Tyson:]
I’m the best the world has ever seen. (I’m the best ever!)
I’m somebody you’ll never forget cause I work hard and sweat in my tears. (Can’t be stopped!)
I’m never falling again and if I did, I’d come back

[Verse 1 – Madonna:]
If you try and fail, get up again
Destiny will choose you in the end
If you don’t make the choice
And you don’t use your voice
Someone else will speak for you instead
What you want is just within your reach
But you gotta practice what you preach
You pay with sweat and tears
And overcome your fears
Never let the fire inside you leave

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

[Verse 3 – Madonna:]
Tell me I’m no good and I’ll be great
Say I have to fight and I can’t wait
Standing in the wings
A butterfly that stings
I will rise above cuz it’s my fate

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

[Bridge – Madonna:]
Born to be a superstar, that’s exactly what you are
Born to be a superstar, that’s exactly what you are

[Verse 4 – Chance The Rapper:]
Alright
Firefly change when they catch ya
Wanna put ya in their net for their light glow
Yellow brick highway
Paparazzi piled up on the high road
They just turned the sun into an idol
They just want to see how high the sky go
Just to find how it feel to fall back
Madonna said I remind her of Michael
Steady blowin’ up my head
Blowin’ up my head
Put it on your wall
Put me in the school book
Put me in your laws
Put me in the desk
And in the synagogues
Firefly glow when they catch ya
Wanna catch ya when ya lights go dim
Wanna turn you to a letter in their logo
Wanna stick you in a jar with a pen
You an icon

[Chorus – Madonna:]
“I can’t”, “icon” – two letters apart
One step away from being lost in the dark
Just shine your light like a beautiful star
Show the world who you are, who you are

Yeah, there’s another part of you no one sees
There’s a burning fire that’s underneath
Baby, don’t you know you were meant to be
Born to be, meant to be

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

Iconic
Iconic
Ironic
Iconic

So in a sense the trip to NYC planned by my cousin was the preamble to my new life.  It was one last hurrah before shit got real. And I will be forever grateful to him for doing all that for me.  Even if he had no idea what it would all end up meaning.

20150918_182506

Oh and then I get all Holy Water (Bitch Get Off My Pole!)