I have been a bit busy and haven’t had a chance to update since December!  I said I wasn’t going to be good at this.  Maybe that will change.  New year and all.

So where did I leave off.  I returned the windows phone.  I couldn’t deal and ended up with the Galaxy 6 Active.  It’s much better.  So no more windows crap.

We closed on the house January 5th and I drove up to Montana on the 6th; got in the evening of the 7th.  That was quite the adventure.  Not sure I ever want to do that again.  Wyoming was fine.  Montana up to Billings was fine.  Then the snow.  Yeah….it was a long stressful drive.  But I got here…that’s all that matters.

We are still in the apartment.  We close on our new house on March 2nd.  (Supposedly)  Montana people (for the most part) don’t seem to have a real sense of urgency.  So in this case the bank is taking it’s own sweet time.  I mean I’m sorry but it really doesn’t take 3 weeks to set up an appraisal.  There aren’t THAT many houses for sale up here!  But I’m sure it will all get done.  It’s going to be quite the project.  The house needs some love, but it will give us a chance to make it our own.  Kind of fun picking out new cabinets, flooring and paint.

Now the title.  The first week of December I found a rather large lump in my left breast.  At first I totally freaked out, but then convinced myself that it was nothing…probably just the lipoma coming back.  And if it was serious I would have noticed something that size before.  My last mammogram was March 2014 and nothing showed up.  I couldn’t get in for 2015 because BCH imaging doesn’t like to answer their phone EVER.  Okay fine.  Well we were in the middle of a move anyway and there wasn’t really much I could do.  Pete told me to make an appointment as soon as I got to Missoula.  So as soon as i was sure we were really going to close on the house, I called to make an appointment with a dr. up in Missoula so I could get authorization for a mammogram to find out what the hell this was.

On January 19th I went into the dr and all of a sudden he has this concerned look on his face.  He sets up a Mammogram and an ultrasound as well as an appointment with a breast surgeon.  I’m like…uh….okay.  So I had to have BCH send over my records before anyone could even put me on a schedule.  I’m like seriously?  So of course it takes them what seemed like forever to get their act together.  I was finally able to get the mammogram and ultrasound on January 27th (with some choice words and a firm tone…I’ll just leave that there).  Well the mammogram didn’t show anything and neither did the ultrasound.  They were like “we know there is something there because we can see it and feel it.”  Isn’t that reassuring.  So on the 29th I went to the surgeon and she was baffled.  She ordered an MRI to see if maybe they could see something this way.  So on February 2nd I had my first MRI.  It was like being in a techno club but you couldn’t dance and no cool lights.  The next day I get a call back and I get told “we are concerned it may be a cancer so we are going to set you up with a biopsy to make sure.” I hung up and was like did she just say CANCER?  Well maybe they are just being overly cautious.  But she totally could have said “it looks suspicious and we really can’t tell so we want to biopsy it to make sure..”  So she ordered a core biopsy for February 8th.

Now by this time I’m completely freaking out.  I am crying and having a total mental breakdown because I may possibly have cancer and am going to die.  I get through the biopsy…creepy as hell…the specimens looked like little worms.  It was gross.  But it didn’t hurt and I got to watch it through the ultrasound.  Kind of cool.  Well I was told I should hear something back by Wednesday. (It was a Monday).  Tuesday morning February 9th I get a call saying that my tests came back positive and I do in fact have invasive lobular carcinoma.  Well thank goodness Pete was home for lunch at the time.  I put it on speaker and was just shaking.  Hung up and totally lost it.  I spent the majority of the day in tears.  When Pete got home from work (I made him go back, he didn’t want to) we went for a beer because well…what else are you going to do.  While we were at the brewery I had a call from “the Navigation team” who wanted to to over my pathology report and let me know what all happens next.  Half way through her explaining she stops and says she has to consult with the oncologist because something doesn’t look right and she would call me in the morning.  So I’m like okay.  Again….I freak out.  Now mind you I have been on the internet more than I should have and had myself at Stage IV with it spread to my lungs, bones and everywhere else…I had my death scheduled for this summer.  She called back the next morning bright and early and let me know that she has scheduled me with a bunch of appointments. (oh and the reason she had to talk to the oncologist was because they mislabeled the right and left breast and she wanted to confirm the mistake before she went any further with me)  The first is going to be with the Medical oncologist and then with her to get more information.  So today (Feb 11th) I had my appointment with the Medical Oncologist.  I got to see the images and it was helpful to know that the large 4 inch by 2 inch mass in my breast was not one big large tumor!  Whew!  Basically it was a lot of tissue thickening and a bunch of little tumors…thus why it is lobular.  Well that made me feel better.  I also realized that a majority of the symptoms I was having since the biopsy were all stress related.  So I learned that of all the truly stressful times in my life I could have taken more.  (go me). So this is what I learned about this mass, who I have named Cruella…

1. She is an Invasive Lobular Carcinoma
2. The pathology is at a Grade 2 (this is not the stage, but the rate at which the cancer is growing.  there are 3 grades)
3. It is ER+ and PR+

I am waiting for the Her2 test to come in and although there is no breast cancer in my family at all (yes I’m a trailblazer) I’m having the genetic test done to see if there is any other surprises that await me later on down the road.  They did do some blood work and everything came back within normal parameters.

The next steps:

Tomorrow (2/12) I have an appointment with the Radiology Oncologist

2/16 I have an appointment with a new Surgeon.  The original one I went to only practices at the hospital everyone else is at 2 times a month.  That’s not going to work for me.  So the new Surgeon is the best in town.  (As is my Medical Oncologist)

2/17 I get the PET scan.  This is going to show if the cancer has spread to any other part of my body.  So at this point they will be able to Stage it.  (come on 2 or 3!  one is out of the question already due to the invasive status)

2/18 is the tumor board.  Every Thursday all the cancer docs get together to discuss cases.  This will be the first time I will be part of the discussion.  This is where they are going to look at all the test results and then decide which is the most effective plan of action for my situation.

2/19 is my results appointment with the Medical Oncologist.  She is going to tell me what stage the cancer is at and what my treatment will be…and when it’s going to start.

There is a support group that meets twice a month that I am going to go to and there is also a breast cancer workout group at the gym..whoo hoo.

Well.  That’s all I know.  I am just going to update this blog and if anyone wants to keep track of my little journey fantastic.  I just don’t want to bombard texts and emails and Facebook 20 some times.  Okay yeah, it’s really about me and not wanting to repeat myself 20 some times.  I’m selfish like that!

But as always if you have questions or want to share anything with me I’m more than happy to answer/listen.  You can either comment on the posting or email me directly if you want.  erishe98@gmail.com

I do want to say how much I appreciate all the love and support I have gotten from so many of my friends and family.  Just knowing that someone does care helps me with the battle.  I know it’s going to be a long hard road ahead….and I’m not always going to be positive and/or wanting to talk.  But I’m going to put up one hell of a fight and not give up.

Much love to you all.