Making of A Diva

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around all this stuff. Logically I know what I need to do, but emotionally I’m a mess.

I did decide to just take some time to figure out what I’m going to do and the best way to approach this. This includes seriously prioritizing what is important and not important to me. Everything right now seems like any small step or decision is at least a step forward.

Last night I started to read the Olivia Newton John book, Don’t Stop Believin’. It’s okay. A lot of good perspective in there. But as much as I love her, something about someone who makes millions of dollars and has access to things normal people don’t seems a little unrealistic. But nonetheless there are some good perspectives.

Everyone one’s journey is so different. It’s really hard to find something that is right on what you have dealt with. Maybe if enough people tell their story, someone will find one as close as possible to theirs to gain strength and perspective with.

I’ve been doing a lot of pondering and so far where I am is:

1. This is complete and utter bullshit and I am NOT happy about it.
2. What the actual FUCK! I mean seriously…WHAT. THE FUCK.
3. Okay get your shit together because this is what you are dealing with whether you like it or not.
4. Stay positive. It may not cure anything but it will help with treatments and not stress you out.
5. Seriously? I mean what the fuck?
6. I honestly don’t have to do anything I don’t want any more.
7. I don’t have to worry about reoccurance
8. Keep busy with things you enjoy
9. Fuck!
10. Live life to the fullest. Enjoy every moment.
11. Don’t dwell on the situation. Pondering and thinking and obsessing over it isn’t going to change it or make it go away.
12. Everything is going to be fine.
13. Well this is a set back I wasn’t expecting.
14. WHAT THE FUCK!
15. I can eat ALL THE THE THINGS!
16. Let’s go skydiving!
17. To make sure that you feel the best for as long as you can you need to really watch what you eat, exercise, get enough sleep and take care of yourself.
18. SLEEP!!!!
19. Where’s that list of things I want to do?
20. How am I going to approach my business and where do I want to take it?
21. The reality is I have like 5-10 years probably so why not just carry on and not make any changes at all?
22. I have to look at this as having any other disease. Yes, I am going to have to change some things to accommodate treatment, but that’s it.
23. I could totally get hit by a truck or struck by lightening. You just don’t know!
24. Everyone is going to die. It’s not until you are faced with your own mortality that you start to worry about it. None of us knows when our life will end, so make the most out of each day you have.