Tag: Transition
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Grieving the Old Me with Stage IV Cancer
Grief with stage IV cancer isn’t just about death—it’s about losing pieces of yourself while you’re still here. I grieve the life I had. The ability to plan a day and actually do it. The energy to say yes without wondering if I’ll be too fatigued, in pain, or stuck at another surprise blood draw.…
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First Day of the Rest of My life
Well…yesterday was my last radiation session. I was doing good emotionally…then I stopped in the Chemo lounge like I usually do to say hi to everyone. And I lost it. Luckily the Social Worker was there. So I asked her if we could talk a bit. Sunday I had a complete mental breakdown. I had…
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Bring it.
After 28 full radiation sessions which consisted of the lymph nodes and the entire left chest area, the last 5 are right to the scar and that’s it. So there is a new cut out and new positions for this. The cut out is the shape of my scar and they put it down real…
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The Home Stretch
Tomorrow is the last full dose of radiation treatment. It’s the last one to my lymph nodes. The remaining 5 are boosts to the tumor site. I’ve been very emotional the last week over all this. I mean I’m ecstatic that I’m down to the end. I’m excited about rebuilding myself both physically and mentally.…
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Transition
Still going through good days and bad days. They are a little different than before. Prior treatment was more physical bad days. Now I’m going through more mental bad days. (Physically I’m exhausted and adjusting to a lot of things that have changed.) It’s more of a “what happens next?” panic. This usually happens after…
