We’ve all heard it: “midlife crisis.” The term brings to mind red convertibles, dramatic haircuts, or spontaneous life overhauls. But let’s be real, midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a reintroduction.
At some point between 40 and 60, life nudges (or shoves) us into a new chapter. Kids grow up. Careers shift. Bodies change. People we love pass away. The roles that once defined us—mother, partner, employee, caretaker—begin to evolve or even vanish. And in all that change, the world expects us to carry on like nothing’s different. But everything is different.
Here’s the truth: midlife doesn’t break us. It reveals us.
It’s the moment we ask: Who am I now?
Not the person we had to be for others, not the version of ourselves that checked all the boxes, but the person beneath all that. The one who may have been on mute while everyone else came first.
This stage of life is less about reinvention and more about reintroduction. Getting reacquainted with our own thoughts, our own dreams, and our own needs. It’s about shedding the “shoulds” and asking: “What do I actually want now?” What makes me feel alive, at ease, curious, creative, sexy, powerful?
And let’s be clear, this isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes reintroduction feels more like starting over. It may come with grief, regret, or a sense of loss for who we were. But there’s freedom in that blank space. Because now, we get to choose with intention. We’ve got history, humor, heartbreak, and grit. And that makes this next version of ourselves richer, deeper, and bolder than the last.
When my son graduated high school, I found myself asking, “Now what?” For 18 years, I was Mom: carpool driver, snack maker, emotional anchor, and his biggest cheerleader. Most of my social life revolved around his activities. I was at the hockey rink three days a week, surrounded by other parents who became my friends through the years. Then suddenly… silence. No more schedules, no more games. Just me.
I remember half-joking that I was going to “adopt” a younger player just to stay part of that world. It was funny, but it also masked a real sense of loss.
As my son stepped into adulthood, I stayed on emotional stand-by, always ready to switch back into full-on mom mode if needed. And of course, I was still there for him—through the ups, the downs, and the messy in-betweens, but our relationship had changed. And I had to figure out who I was outside of that role. For a while, I floundered. Without the title of Mom-on-duty, I felt a little untethered. Just Erika.
But slowly, I started reconnecting with the parts of myself I’d tucked away. My husband and I began spending more intentional time together—hiking, kayaking, just being outdoors. Things we used to love but hadn’t made space for in years. It turns out, the things that filled me up were still there… I just needed to reintroduce myself to them.
If you’re in that in-between space—no longer in the thick of motherhood but not quite sure who you are now—know this: you’re not lost, you’re just in transition. It’s okay to grieve the life that centered around raising your child, even as you celebrate their independence. This is your chance to rediscover what makes you feel alive. To explore passions you put on hold, reconnect with your partner, or even make new friends who know you as more than just “someone’s mom.” It’s not the end of something—it’s the beginning of a beautiful reintroduction to yourself.
So no, midlife isn’t a crisis.
It’s a handshake. A hug. A homecoming.
Welcome back to yourself. You’ve been waiting.
